Memorable Quote to LIVE by:

"If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it, or else you're going to be locked up." Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

I Meme To Misbehave (shamelessly stolen from Aesop, not the memes but the name)

Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!
Big A over at raconteur used my pic for his poast "Too Soon" and made a pretty funny meme out of the pic I did of the dude falling from the C-17.  It's here: https://raconteurreport.blogspot.com/2021/08/too-soon.html (And BTW Bro, WTF? seriously? You -still- don't link my shithouse?  I got yers on at the top of the pile under AESOP.  How about a back scratch man?)
Anyways...
I had a few MOR memes about that particular shytteshow that I figure since I'm housecleaning... some of them are going to need explanation to the non-airborne folks tho, as they're a bit more specific...
No explanation needed there Aye?
Anyone who's ever played a vidyagame knows that one...

Lil story there... I kinda-sorta did 5 DotMil freefalls... that's the requirement.

Problem: I had been out of the DotMil, medically retired, for 3 months when I got to jump.

I was a fucking civvie 

Now for those who want to throw the bullshit flag, let me explain.  When I finally got out, I was supposed to turn in my ID card.  I was getting medically retired, but it was at Fort Hood (and we've gone over just how fucked up  that particular place is before) and the GS doing the ID Card turn-in/retirement card issue was out sick the day I was leaving.  And man, I was leaving-leaving as in that motherfucking day  "Run Away!!! Run Away!!!"... I literally pulled up in a 24 foot moving van for my final out.  So the kid, and I mean kid, 18 year old private told me, "Ah hell Corporal, I don't know how to run the machine to make a new card for you... why don't you hold on to your current one, and use it til you can get to your home, and get the nearest base to do the ID swap for you."

I was like (in my head) BONUS!

So, I had a valid military ID instead of a retiree card like I do now.  And mind you this was BEFORE the majority of shit was computerized... they were still hand-jamming paperwork.

What happened then was 3 months after I was out, my best bro of the time, who I ended up in Iraq with, Lil Country as he's now known as, had finished parachute riggers school, and gotten posted to my Alma Mater, Fort Campbell.  He was on the 5th Special Forces Rigging team.  Needless to say, I went down for a long 4 day weekend.  Where he took it on himself to set up a Chinook for a day of free-fall "parachute testing" and yeah... they do that on the weekends, or used to legit.  Parachutes gotta be tested don't you know... 

Since I had a valid ID, the proper uniform, (yeah I was still in shape) the beard and such was overlooked as it -was- 5th Group... Lil told everyone I was a new team member of the 'dirty platoon' which was and probably still is a group of operators no one questions, and has relaxed grooming standards...

So I got my 5 qualifying jumps.

We got caught though.  Lil was known not to work on weekends... especially long 4 day weekends, so the Group Sergeant Major showed up.  Wanted to know why Lil was working when normally, he was a slacker...  CSM, well, he didn't recognize me, and maaaan I was shitting rabbit pellets up while Lil explained the scam, and up until until he started laughing his balls off I thought "I'm going to jail, I'm going to jail..." 

However, the CSM loved the scheming that we did to do it.  The CSM said it was some "real operator SF shit we pulled"... I got a free-fall certificate and group coin with my name engraved in the mail a few weeks after I went home... the note enclosed said he couldn't get it on my 214, but that I was quall'd and that I was welcome back anytime...  I mailed him a bottle of his favorite bourbon as a thank you for not throwing me and Lil in prison... He was fucking awesome and so was that time... days of wine and roses indeed.
So to continue:

Now, this one?
Bit more to it if you weren't DotMil or ABN.  ABN stands for "Airborne" meaning you jumped out of perfectly good aircraft for fun, prizes and jump pay if you were on full jump status with the 82nd or 173rd.  101st?  Notsomucho. 
The guys like me who only did the required 5? 
Usually derisively called a "5 Jump Chump"
Mainly because it was officers who only got the wings to 'punch the career checklist'
So, this guy?  Yeeeeeeeeeah... 
And to close it out, 
The 82nd Airborne Chorus doing "Blood Upon The Risers"
No risers means no blood on 'em
What a hell of a way to die...
No shit Aye?
More Later I Remain The Intrepid Reporter
Big Country
Forgot the anniversary of the A-Bomb...

11 comments:

  1. I find the human lawn dart memes eapecially entertaining. And tje "One Jump Chump" meme should get a Pulitzer.

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  2. I am more convinced than ever that those idiots thought they could actually ride a cargo plane to America.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, the idiots watched (and believed as possible) at least one too many ‘Mission Impossible’ movies, methinks…

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  3. there are pics on the net of several of the jumpers after thy hit rooftops. looks like a deer that got ground up by a semi. long time to know you're gonna die.

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  4. ...I am more convinced than ever that those idiots thought they could actually ride a cargo plane to America...

    This is my opinion. These idiots thought itwas just gonna be a little extra windy. No doubt even had they managed to stay... attached.. to the plane, they would have quickly learned that the air at 25,000 feet is a tad chilly.

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  5. Mr Country,
    Given your knowledge of the AR, I wondered how long you thought the Taliban can keep their captured weapons running?
    They are reputed to be good home gunsmiths.

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  6. (Don McCollor)...Then there are the very lucky ones. A Brit tail gunner in a burning Lancaster (I believe) looked back and saw his parachute in the access tunnel on fire (no room to wear it in the turret). He decided to jump at 18,000 feet and make his death quick and clean instead of burning. He woke up in a pine forest with severe injuries, but had landed in deep snow on a steep slope cushioning his landing. His German 'rescuers' asked where his parachute was and did not believe his explanation "I did not use one" and thought he was as spy until they found what was left of the chute in the crashed plane.

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  7. I ain't as smart as some 'fellers, but I don't think they were schooled on aerodynamics. They know goats and kalashnikov, beyond that they just in panic mode. Scared men are capable of doing anything.....worm

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  8. Hi BC!!!!,
    'Gotta check in with ya' on this one!!! Man, these "Lawn Darts" are nothin' new!! 'Seems like every time there's some "Mass Evac." there are bunches of these!!!
    'I really like yer' addin' the ol' 82nd guyz doin' "Blood on the Risers!!!" .... My .Mil daze was "USN" and I waz a "PR!!" Parachute Rigger!!!!.. 'Bein' an old "Skydiver" firstaircraftunassig 08MAY1964 with Southland Skydivers!! Hammond Airport, La., We had a bunch of former ABN troops that jumped with us... Green Berets sportin' their wings and all!!!! Good times!! At USN "PR-A School" class jump 18MAY1967 was my "290th" Leap!!!!! 'Had the guys singin' "Blood on the Risers" on our way to the Plane!!!! This was a "Freefall" jump!! Out the door an Pull The Ripcord!!!!

    Would love to drag yer ass out of a perfectly good aircraft on a "Fun Dive!! It would be a blast! 'No place to post fotoz here so I'll jus' leave ya' with a note to go to www.airtrash.com and scroll thru the site.. I am the head honcho of "DIXIE TRASH" read my posts in the "History of Air Trash" and you will find me on the message board!!!
    It has been 57 years since "#1" .... my rig is packed, reserve in date and my USPA is current... just need some "Lift!!!!"

    Blue skyz!!!!.... BLACK DEATH!!!!!!,
    "Bill Deli"... aka skybill
    SCR-2034, SCS-680, USPA D-6009, Double Diamond Wings (3,000 jumps)-451, Quadra Diamond Freefall Badge (60 Hours total freefall time)-230

    PS Somewhere on youtube is "VINCE S." singin' Blood On the Risers.. he jumped into Normandy!!!!




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  9. Hi BC!!!!!,
    Here's the deal!!! Vince J. Speranza singin' "Blood on the Risers!!" ... There are several other vids of him singin' the song but I like this one at the top!!
    youtube.com/watch?v=I8pHvABIJcw

    BSBD,
    skybill

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