Memorable Quote to LIVE by:

"If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it, or else you're going to be locked up." Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Thursday, May 27, 2021

Being a Dick, Graduate Level

Greetings Me Droogs N Droogettes!
A long, stressed summers day ahead, along with a -bunch-o'stupid shit.  
So, while doing some digging tonight/last night, I went into my old humidor.  Xwife got it for me years n years ago, and it's a 1930s cigar box... really nice.  I use it to store my old medals, qual pins, my old ribbon rack... the dot-mil dress stuff I no longer use, witht he exception of my wings and regimental crests.

That's what I was looking for actually, a 187th Regimental Crest for my new hat.
I picked up a World War Two garrison cap on Fleabay a few weeks ago.  
(Dammit... can't upload pictures today... got the one above, now Blogger is acting Full Retard!)  Oh well take my word for it, it's sweeeet.

Like $5!!!  It's an old version of the 'cunt-cap' in Khaki.  VERY cool.  I dug out one of my old Glider patches we wore on our nasty-green dress uniform (I fucking purely hated that nasty leisure suit) and stitched it onto the proper location.  I wanted to put the crest on the other side as that's where you'd put it properly if you're an enlisted man.  Not sure what AR670-1 sez aboot it nowadays...  

Huh.  Looking it up, they still have it as 'AGSU' which stands for Army Green Service Uniform?  Huh.. I thought they went back to the browns?  Soooo... looking it up AGSU is the browns, or olive green apparently.    To me, you say 'Army Green' and I get nightmare flashbacks to that polyester abortion we had to wear back in the day... nasty ugly fucked up uniform.  HATED that thing to the point I literally cut the patches off of it, and threw it in the trash when I got out.  Nasty gross smelly foul.  GOD did I hate that fucking thing.

What's hysterical to me is the younger guys I talked to?  They all hated the blues that the Army shifted to around 2000.  I'm all like whatever man... we dreamed of the blues, but like no-one had the extra scratch to buy them.  And speaking of that, the new uniform?  Sexy as all git oot, but damned if someone isn't profiteering on that shitshow.  I went to the website to size up what it'd cost to get the new uniform.  "Obscenely Prohibitively Expensive" doesn't even start to touch that sucker.  The cost of the jacket alone is $400.  Nevermind all the 'other stuff' that they want you to have...  a full uniform, with Corcoran Brown Jump boots is like $1200 all together.

Sheesh.
Even with a clothing allowance, that's insane.
So, anywho, digging through my 'stuff' I found something I totally forgot about.
Again, Blogger has fucked me and won't upload.

Long story short:  It's a set of Lieutenant General's stars.  Like legit generals stars.  I know because I stole 'em right off the General's hat when the fucker was visiting battalion.  I have no idea if anyone noticed, but he left his cover with all these other guys on a table in the briefing room

I just might have been the guy who managed to slip away and abscond with them during the Powerpoint briefing.  Word is Mon Generale was peeved like a motherfucker to have his stars stolen.

Eh... whatever.
Don't leave yer hat laying around
Dumbass.

Wish y'all could see the pic.  Hopefully later Blogger'll unfuck itself.  In the meantime, you can view them at my other site: https://www.bigcountryexpat.com/being-a-dick-graduate-level/

So, More later I Remain the Intrepid Reporter
Big Country

5 comments:

  1. Blogger was letting me post pictures earlier but who the hell knows with this crap platform

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  2. HA HA

    I have the Rakkasan B company guidon stapled up in my garage




    that's right


    cpt runyourassoff was on fire- so I heard...

    tfA-t will not be fucked without giving a proper fucking back









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  3. You stole the stars outta the general's cap. Fucking Legend...

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  4. The current AGSU "pinks and greens" throwback is the only Army service uniform worth a shit, and they never should have gotten rid of it after WWII.

    About the only fucking thing the Pentagon's gotten right in about 60 years was going back to it.

    Never swiped any rank. But we had a sneaky sonofabitch douchebag CO whose bars always seemed to get pinned on sideways if he left his cover unprotected. And someone might have replaced them with NROTC rank pips once, somewhere. I heard.

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  5. That's funny right there. Good on you for hanging on to it. I still have the Kevlar from the Major that my detail was assigned to taxi service all around Baghdad, so he could attend neighborhood councils and bitch sessions, while we all stood around in the 110 degree sunshine guarding the vehicles. He had the annoying habit of leaving his helment sitting on the fender of the Humvee while he soft capped it inside for a couple hours to sip chai and stroke it with the hajis. After about ten days of that shit I decided that he probably didn't really need that hard hat any more since it was so heavy an all. So I just tucked it away in the rucks in the back of the escort vehicle and nobody said jack shit . He didn't even miss it till we were half way back to the green zone and then he's like "Oh crap I forgot my helment, we have to go back!" I says "No can do Major, we'll be late for the BUB. I'm sure the supply sarge can get you another one. We can go back tonight and shoot up the neighborhood if you want but I'm sure your kevlar ain't gonna be there."
    So the next morning sure as shit he comes out with his replacement dome in the only size that supply could give him.
    Small. Which was at least two sizes below what was needed to cover his melon. And no cover, no helment band. no rank insignia, nothin but an OD green Kevlar. Perfect. Now he is easily identified as the Elmer Fudd crossed with Mr. Magoo that we all knew and loved. Major Magoo wore that green bucket all the rest of the deployment. All the way to the tarmac.
    And I still have the original dirt crusted desert camo covered lid with his dirty gold leaf insignia sown to the front. Sometimes I take it out the box just to smell it..

    ReplyDelete